You have GOT to be kidding me!!!

Hello Everyone!

I think the title of this post pretty much says it all. I can't speak for everyone else, but my head was reeling from start to finish watching that episode. I admit that I really enjoy watching the show...pure drama and entertainment for a Monday night. I will honestly say that this was a rare time in my reality show-loving lifetime where I caught myself saying (on more than one occasion)...are you ##@#&*^$) kidding me!? REALLY!? Grab your poison of choice and let the fur (or fake fur...I want to keep everyone happy and laughing as they read!) fly! Fasten your seatbelts...this is gonna be a VERY bumpy ride!!

Let's start at the beginning...the RVs pulling up to the mansion set the tone for a crazy road trip to loverville. It's bad enough to put nine high-strung, Jake-loving females in a huge mansion together. Throw them onto two motor homes, with limited bathroom access and space and you have a catfight minus the mud pits and bodyguards! Hmm...that's what happens in mud wrestling...but close enough!

I was curious to see how Gia would be on the one-to-one date with Jake. Let's face it...a lingerie model and a hunky pilot would normally be a lethal combination. We all know what pilots love to do in the cockpit of a plane, and Gia is hot enough to fit the bill for that fantasy. Unfortunately, we know it's Jake and his wholesome "oh gosh" attitude...so it would be more PG-rated than unrated fun! I have to admit, there is a ton of good old American (or insert any other country!) chemistry between the two of them. The stilettos in the middle of the vineyards made me laugh though...typical NYC diva on a first date. I'm sure I wasn't the only one rolling my eyes!

OK...here's where I started gagging...starting with Jake telling Gia his first kiss was in Grade 11, and continuing on to Gia and Jake's playful game of spin the bottle. How old are these two? Did I just step back into a time warp and end up with a group of horny teenagers at a party in someone's basement? ABC...SERIOUSLY!!! What age group are you trying to target?

As if that wasn't enough, I loved the choice of meal for our diva from NYC...hot dogs and s'mores. I loved how Gia said that was the most romantic thing she had ever done. This girl has dated pro athletes and lives in one of the best cities in the world. How does eating street meat and a gooey mess of chocolate, graham crackers and marshmallows become romantic? I think if they were eating that while watching the sun set in Maui, with the waves crashing below, I would feel differently. Instead, they were being watched by a group of howling, jealous women who were acting a lot more like their shoe size than the intelligent, refined women they are supposed to me. Ummmm....yeah, moving right along...lol. We know that Gia will be around for a while. I can't say the same for some of the other crazies back in the RVs.

Let's dish about the group date. I was wondering last week why the girls, especially Ali, hated Vienna so much. I don't wonder about that anymore. That girl is PSYCHO...not like the movie, but like a stalker! Everything from her saying "Jake's my boyfriend!" and "Have your time with him...you're not gonna marry him. I'm gonna marry him!!"...on what planet is she working with a wedding planner to sort out the details!? I love how the show is playing on how much Ali can't stand the freak-a-leek, but I have concerns that my girl may have that hostility come back to bit her where it will hurt the most. I really like Ali and it's obvious that she has a ton of chemistry with her..but the claws and fangs need to be trimmed back.

I loved how the girls were taken to the beach for sand surfing and racing dune buggies...probably not what they were all expecting, but it allowed Jake to see them let loose in a place where they could let loose, get dirty and have some fun. It's so obvious that Jake is naturally drawn to Tenley, but seeing Cori make a move was a pleasant surprise...and kept her in the game for another week.

Back at the hotel, I loved how the girls were all taking advantage of their alone time with Jake. I love to see him with Ali and Tenley...they are my favourites and obviously some of his favourites as well...but Ali needs to work on getting that Vienna chip off her shoulder. I personally think Jake could have spent the entire evening alone with Tenley...the head in her lap and then going in for the kiss...I felt like I should leave the room...haha. Cute and I want more of that for them!

Was it me, or was that scene with Jake and Ashleigh like having teeth pulled without novocaine!? Ouch. That was beyond painful to watch...especially when he was talking about how he didn't feel any chemistry with her. I can only imagine how brutal it was for Ashleigh to watch that last night.

Let's chat about the one everyone loves to hate...Vienna! Did anyone else want to rip out her hair from the roots when she said she wanted to talk to Jake last? Jake should have manned up and said "I would like to talk to you now", instead of playing into the drama and letting her go last. This girl is creeping me out, and I am safe and sound away from TV land, laughing hysterically at everything that's unfolding in high definition TV. What I WILL give Jake mad props for is the fact that he called her out about what she says to the other girls to antagonize them..."Sometimes it's better not to say anything." I wonder if Chris Harrison had anything to do with that!!! In any event...well done Jake...well done. You scored one cool point with me for that...and two more for giving Tenley the rose at the end of the group date!

Here's the part of the show that made my stomach turn...the two-on-one date. I don't know how any of them would be able to enjoy a minute of that painful dinner, knowing that one person was getting the boot. To make matters worse, Jake pretty much ignored Kathryn for the first part of the date, but I loved how she called him out for it. Jake, you lost a cool point for doing that....and I passed it over to Kathryn! You go girl.

I like both of those women, but Ella clearly has her priorities wrapped around her son (and rightfully so) and I didn't see Jake ready to settle down with someone who already has a child. Having Jake use the son as an excuse for letting her go (not wanting to keep her away from him) sucked, and I think that Ella's parting line of "Be wise in who you choose" should have been "Get a life, loser! You're going to end up alone or with a psycho for a fiancee!". Kathryn getting kicked to the curb shocked everyone...and I guess Jake telling her how beautiful she was and how he was lost in her eyes was a pillow that was supposed to catch her fall. I love how he burned the rose after he sent them both off. But the fun isn't over yet. The bloodbath is just beginning...

I know this is long...sorry, but there was just so much fuel for the fire, I had to throw in all the change I had in my wallet to describe what I was thinking! So much for two cents' worth. OK...cocktail party and rose ceremony time. I think that the girls are entitled to their opinions, but being on a reality show where you are all competing for the affections of one man, you need to learn to be politically correct when the situation calls for it, and hide the claws during the pre-rose ceremony party. It's a shame that Jessie didn't know about this. Her rant to Jake about Vienna cost her a rose and made her sound like a spoiled child. Even Ali, who HATES Vienna, knows enough to be quiet and focus on Jake while she is with him. Having said that...I loved her line "If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - Vienna needs to go home!" I thought her head was going to spin off that night! Lucky for her, that kiss from Jake was like crazy glue and kept it on for a little while longer.

I have to dedicate an entire paragraph to Vienna...that girl is enough to make me run for a bottle of percocet! Shame that I am allergic to it...that stuff could make you feel good about anything! I am christening her the "Ewwww factor"...that girl really creeps me out! Talking to Jake about how she feels like she's the only girl in his life made me wonder if she remembers that she is on a show where women are competing for the same man...does anyone have a spare straightjacket? She looks like she could use one. I loved her questions about what his friends and family would think of her. If this is the type of girl he is looking for, it doesn't say much for him. I really hope something drastic changes my mind about that crazy bird.

Did anyone else think that Jake was going to toss his cookies during the rose ceremony!? That looked so uncomfortable. It was obvious that he was not feeling good about everyone in the room. The drama about going to talk to Chris was actually interesting to me. Jake has shown that he isn't here on ABC's agenda, but his own. He's there to find a woman to fall in love with and if that meant cutting women without giving out roses, so be it. My only complaint was that there were only two women who had to leave! Vienna should have been sent back to Florida. I understood why Jessie and Ashleigh were turned away...but drama mama gits to go!!! If for nothing else...to keep Ali's blood pressure normal. She is ready to burst some blood vessels! That girl is going to snap...soon...

That's it for this week. Thanks again for reading my posts and for all your amazing comments. I have to say that I am looking forward to seeing what the next episode brings. Jake's cutting out so many women that I am hoping some huge shift takes place next week, so that we can see how he is starting to fall for the remaining women. I still see Tenley and Ali as the front runners, but Gia is also up there as well. Time will tell...and with Jake making so many wild card moves, it's getting harder to figure out exactly what (or who!) he is looking for!

Take care and until next time...have a great week! :)