Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Bachelor Finale and ATFR: The Final Rose Lost Its Bloom...Only a Thorn Remains!!

Hi everyone!!! I missed you...hope you missed me too!! So sorry I didn't blog last week. I got sucked into the hype and madness that was otherwise known as the Vancouver 2010 Olympic Games...I think we all did! I will add a few paragraphs to this blog to quickly recap last week's Women Tell All Episode. I have no doubt that I'm not the only person who is happy that this season finally came to an end. I will go on record to say that I think Vienna is not the greatest choice, but it's Jake's decision and he based it on what he was experiencing and feeling during the 6 weeks they were filming the show. What happens in the real world will determine if these two stay together for the long haul! OK...let the hissing begin! There's so much to say and I don't want to miss anything!!

Let's quickly chat about the Women Tell All episode. I don't want to waste tons of time on it as I think it was hideously scripted and edited! I think that the girls said a lot of things about Rozlyn that nay not have been true. Where were these accusations before that show?? ABC is awesome at editing and creating perfect drama...and I definately think some of that drama played out in this episode as well. I think the comments were way too 'convenient' at this stage in the show.

I thought the girls' depictions of Tenley were a RIOT!!! I love that girl...do not misunderstand me as I am not mocking her....but some of those comments were funny as hell. Hearing Jessie say that Tenley “is the sweetest thing, but seems like she’s dropped straight out of a Disney movie” was hilarious. I also loved hearing Gia say that Tenley shit rainbows! I actually think that she could...she is that sweet!! Even Vienna's clip about how Tenley dreams in cartoons was hysterical and totally believable. Bless that girl...cute as hell and if that's all they could say about her that was outside the norm, who cares!? There are worst things that could be said than that...

Did anyone else gag when they watched that ridiculous Bachelor/Bachelorette piece? OMG...talk about throwing in filler on a episode where that had NO business being in? Pathetic and shameless promotion of former contestants in preparation for the co-ed reality show coming this summer...moving on!

I want to dig right into the Rozlyn segment. Let's point out the fact that the producers had her secluded for the majority of the show. They bring her out to a firing squad led by Chris Harrison, who raked her over the coals and point blank attacked her. I have to admit that I am not a huge Rozlyn fan, but that was really nasty and I have to give her props and respect for putting up with it. She could easily ran off the stage and told Chris to screw himself. The accusation to him about how he hit on the ex-producer's wife opened a can of worms. Even though he didn't dignify the comment with an answer, the seed was planted and everyone heard what she said. I love the drama this show creates!!!

Jake's segment with the women was lame...I gained nothing from him being on that show. I couldn't wait for it to end, as I knew what was coming the following week! Ok...let's switch gears and dive into the finale!!

We head back to St. Lucia, where Jake's family flies in to meet the final two and help Jake find some clarity, as he claims he has NO idea who the last girl standing will be. Yeah...and I have some snow to sell to people up at the North Pole. Who writes for this show!? That exact same, very tired line is used for every season of this series.

Anyway, Jake tells his family that he has fallen in love with two very different women who are like night and day, for different reasons. We all know what those reasons are. One stimulates him emotionally, one stimulates some of his organs physically. Let's call a spade a spade here!! ;)

Jake describes both women to the family before they come over to have the official meet and greet with everyone. He explains to them that Vienna was not liked by anyone in the house, which instantly puts up red flags with his mother. Jake realizes that he has opened a very messy can of worms (no doubt from the swamp...or else known as Vienna's motherland!) and is concerned that the family has already made an impression of her without even meeting her.

Tenley is the first to come meet Jake's family. They are instantly drawn to how sweet she is and Jake's father is crying because he sees that Jake is in love with her. Well, guess we have solved the Pavelka secret regarding where Jake gets the waterworks factor from. Tenley has a one-to-one chat with Jake's mother and is very open about her past marriage when asked about how she deals with conflict. Tenley says she sees Jake as her husband and his mom is in love with her. She thinks Tenley would be a great fit with the family.

The whole family likes Tenley. Tenley is anxious to speak to Jake's father and have some private time with him, so they can get to know each other a bit. No one has any reservations about her and the visit is a huge success.

Jake is hoping to see a fun, impulsive side of Tenley, so he drags her to the pool and jumps in fully clothed. Tenley follows in him and the two share some makeout time in the deep end. The mood gets killed when the family jumps in shortly afterwards. Maybe this was a sign of things to come...no matter how much you enjoy time with the fam, mom and pops don't need to kill the private time of their son and potential daughter-in-law. It was weird...not going to lie! In spite of that, Tenley fit in really well with Jake's family and she had their seal of approval if he decided to propose to her.

The next visit was with Vienna. Jake is really hoping that his family sees the girl that he fell in love with. She talks to them about where she comes from in Florida and the fact that the girls in the house hated her from the beginning. She also explained how her brutal honesty caused a ton of friction in the house. You could have heard crickets from the Florida bayou after she stopped talking. The mood in the room took a huge turn in the wrong direction.

Lindsay, Jake's sister-in-law, explains in private that her first impression of Vienna is that she is confrontational, while Jake's mother says that Vienna is not connecting well with the family. The group chokes their way through a very tense lunch and mom drags her sonny boy out for a chat and a swat across the back of the head with a rolling pin...ok, not really, but she gets her two cents' out there for him to hear. She is bothered by the fact that Vienna is not getting along well with the other daughter-in-laws. She thinks that the women in the family are the glue that holds everyone together and that it is very important for the woman that Jake chooses to fit in well with the other women. Jake is very uncomfortable and defends Vienna, as he feels his mother has formed a bad opinion of her before she has a chance to get to know her. I personally think mom is RIGHT on the money about her, but we know Jake won't stop defending her to anyone who will listen.

The brothers are also candid about their impression of Vienna. They tell Jake that when she says she is brutally honest, that is an immature defense mechanism. I feel like we are rewinding back to Jillian's Bachelorette season, where she was constantly warned about Wes, but she ignored everything she heard and continued to defend him.

The girls ask Vienna about Tenley. She states that Tenley is sweet, but has NO opinion of her own. She also says that she thinks Jake is in love with her,but NOT with Tenley. She explains how he brings out the best in her and that her heart will break if he does not choose her in the end. She is also scared that Jake's mother will not like her. Lord knows there is NO reason why she wouldn't appear lovable in his mother's eyes! I wonder if Vienna wanted to sneak off to one of the bedrooms with Jake for some tonsil action! Imagine what would happen if the parents walked in on that! I am thinking they're not as liberal as gool ol' Vinnie in the bayou!! ;)

Vienna and Jake's mother have some private time to chat and Vienna is asked how she gets along with others. She says that she is concerned about the fact that she did not get along with the other girls in the house. Vienna explains the house situation and the conflict with the others. Jake's mother and the sister-in-laws change their opinion of Vienna and actually feel guilty about their first impression of her. I felt like I was watching a bad movie after that happened. Did Vienna slip them something at lunch!? Or does everyone have ADD? The mood changed way too fast. In any event, Jake was thrilled that everyone saw Vienna as she really is...or as he likes to see her.

Vienna and Jake have their final date at a sulphur springs. I'm sure that smelled nasty as hell...and at first, Vienna did not appear too thrilled about it. She came around quickly and got down and dirty with Jake, pouring mud on each other and Vienna writing I Love You using mud on Jake's chest. It's pretty steamy and they are bother really into it. They clean each other up under a waterfall and then toast their happiness with champagne. Jake has no doubt that there is a very strong, passionate physical connection with Vienna, but he needs to make sure there is an emotional one as well.

Later in the evening, Jake comes to Vienna's room, where she gives him a box containing a handwritten note professing her love, sealed with the pink promise ring her father gave her. She tells Jake that she broke her father's heart when she had eloped for three weeks. She is terrified that this could be her last date with Jake.

The next day, Jake has his last date with Tenley. Jake is very confused about his feelings, but is extremely happy to see Tenley and is on cloud nine to see her, giving her several kisses. They set sail on a boat for some dolphin watching. Jake declares that it's a perfect moment with Tenley. Jake explains to Tenley what he is looking for in a woman. He tells her that their emotional chemistry is very high, but physically, it's not quite there. He says the physical chemistry is building, but it's happening slowly. What a way to be a killjoy, Jake! Tenley is very upset by what he says and lays it on the line for him. She thinks that they have both types of chemistry and that the physical should build progressively...that's how it is in a relationship.

Later in the evening, Jake heads over to Tenley's room. He is very disappointed in himself by hurting Tenley. Tenley, being the sweetheart she is, comforts him. Way to go, slick...kick down the one person who isn't on the show to make herself famous!! He apologizes for making her feel bad and says he wants to fight for her because he loves her. Tenley gives him a pictoral collage of the two of them as a gift. Tenley shows Jake that she has a true heart of gold. She also wants to make sure that she shows Jake that they have a strong emotional AND physical connection...hmmm...sayig this as they are making out in her bedroom...

Jake meets with Neil Lane, blinger extraordinaire to the stars. He explains what each women is like to the jeweller and selects a ring for each woman. He sits by the pool and re-evaluates each women while looking at both rings. Finally, he says he has made a decision that he feels in his heart is the right one for him. He keeps one ring box open, and closes the other one and sets it at the edge of the pool.

Finally, the big moment arrives...Jake is waiting at Jade Mountain, a gorgeous luxury resort with a breathtaking oceanfront setting, waiting for the women to arrive individually. We see Jake waiting as the girls are flown individually in helicopters to the resort. The first helicopter arrives...and out comes Tenley. We know from past seasons that the first person to arrive usually is the one sent packing without the final rose, promise of love and ridiculously huge doorknob of a diamond. Tenley looks beautiful and very happy. I prefer to keep that image of her in my mind as I brace myself for what happens next.

Tenley is greeted by Chris Harrison, who takes her to the bridge and tells her to go meet Jake. She walks up to Jake, very happy and excited. He greets her with a sad smile and he tells her how amazing she is and that he loves her, but "something just doesn't feel right". She doesn't understand where this is coming from...and I don't blame her. He was drooling over her all season and said she was perfect. I guess lust won in the end. Tenley made it WAY too easy for him, thanking him for showing her what she could have with someone and telling him how she was able to give her heart to him. She had a hard time accepting it and said that she wasn't ready to say goodbye. You could tell he was over with her and couldn't wait to get her on the helicopter. Hell, he didn't even walk her to the end of the bridge. away once the honeymoon phase is over.

Tenley said he would see the mistake he made. I do too...but it won't be until the fairy dust settles on the lust fest. After that...it will be back to Coyote Ugly. Things always get clearer in the light. They lived in a reality world for 6 weeks! The puppy love, lust, whatever you want to call it will go away down the road.

Jake...I think you're an ass and an idiot. Plain and simple. The girl deserved better than that. Period. He was obviously attracted to her physically...she wouldn't have stuck around as long as she did if there was nothing there. Emotionally, the connection was incredibly strong...much more than he will ever have with Vienna. There, I said it. The rant is over...for now.

OK...now to the final rose and Vienna. While waiting for Vienna to arrive, Jake says how "I came here for no other reason than to fall in love." He is ready to propose and profess his love to Vienna. She gets off the helicopter, is greeted by Chris and walks down the bridge and to Jake, terrified. Jake gives her back her promise ring and says it wouldn't be right to take it from her. She is upset by this and unsure of what will happen..but then Jake professes his love, gets on one knew and pulls out the doorknob engagement ring. He proposes and she very happily accepts. He also asks her to accept the final rose...any guesses on whether or not she accepts it!? ;)

Cue the ridiculously cheesey song that we have all come to despise and we watch them make out with that gorgeous ocean backdrop. That's all the time I want to devote to that pile of crap! We all know I think Jake made a very bad choice in selecting Vienna...but it's not my decision to make. I don't think it will. last, but time will definately tell if this really is a love match.

Moving right along to the After the Final Rose episode. Our girl Tenley is back, looking gorgeous in a very short green dress. She is still caught up in emotions about Jake, who we know has clearly moved on. They share a warm reunion, but she is still trying to understand why he rejected her. Jake tells her that they were missing the magical spark that he has with Vienna. He wanted so badly to have it with her, but it never happened. He also said that the last time he saw her was the best, and worst, day of his life, because he got engaged and also had to let Tenley go. He says he will always ove her and that she will have a friend for life in him.

Once Tenley is gone, Jake gushes to Chris about how Vienna is his baby and how in love with her he is. Suffice it to say, I pretty much gagged through that whole hour. He goes on to say that out of all the women he has dated, she is the best for him. Wow. Really? I would LOVE to see who he dated in the past! That doesn't really say too much to us, buddy.

Vienna comes out and says that she has been upset by all of the media backlash. She states that her friends would say that she is really sweet. Jake says he doesn't believe any of the rumors that have been publicized in magazines and that everything is blissful with them. He says that Vienna plans to move to Dallas immediately to be with him. Ugh...I am SO glad I am almost done with this update!! LOL. On another note..I would LOVE to sit down with a case of Coors Light in the bayou and chat with her Hooters friends to find out what they really think of her!

Did anyone else wonder what the hell was with the fact that no one in the audience asked a single question to the happy couple?? Can you say gag order? How pathetic. This is what I mean...ABC has these shows so carefully edited and scripted. You KNOW there were women in that audience who were ready to paint a scarlet 'A' on Vienna's surgically enhanced chest! I was hoping for some mud slinging...it would have felt like Vienna and Jake were back in the sulphur springs....only not so warm like the mud, and cool and fizzy like the champagne.

Chris gives them a free trip to go back to Jade Mountain in St. Lucia, where Jake and Vienna got engaged. They dance to a live performance of "On the Wings of Love" by Jeffrey Osborne. Is it over yet!?

Nope...Jake and Vienna slither off and Ali comes out after Chris announces that she is the next Bachelorette. She is greeted to a standing ovation by the audience and gushed about how honoured she was to have been chosen. I know she staged her exit so she could come back for her own season...but good for her. It's all about the ratings, baby! You better believe I will happily blog that season as well!!

Well, my Bachelor blog for this season has come to an end. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my weekly entries. I had a blast writing and really appreciated your comments and emails. Hope to hear from you again in the spring once Ali's Bachelorette season starts! Any bets on whether or not Jake will dump Vienna and try to worm his way onto that reality show as well!? Anything is possible. He's on the next season of Dancing With the Stars that starts March 22, but there is no way in hell he will win that show! At least I hope he doesn't. I would rather see Kate Gosselin stick around than see him and Vienna licking each other after his performances.

Until next time...:)

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