Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Kupah's Kaboom (Part 2!), Thong Diapers, Lockdown Dates, Sex Ed & Bros Before Bachelorettes!

Hello lovelies! I'm still trying to process everything that went down last night. My head is spinning. I'm sure you can relate. Just when I thought it couldn't get more ridiculous, the crazy meter kept spiraling out of control. I know everyone has their opinions about what happened, and we have tons to dish about. Grab your bevvies, and let the games begin!

I think it's safe to say that Kupah made one of the most unforgettable exits ever on any season of The Bachelorette. I don't know where he was schooled on how to treat a woman, or even talk to one, but he needs to take a class at summer school, stat! Having a meltdown on national television won't score him bonus points with the ladies, either. I'm so glad he was able to take his final drink along on the drive of shame away from the mansion. Too bad it wasn't in a sippy cup. That's all the big baby deserved after that performance! Is anyone going to send that video clip in to be considered for an Oscar? The boy would win, hands down!

Once the dust settled, here's the list of bachelors who received roses at the rose ceremony:

Clint, JJ, Jared, Ben E., Shawn B., Jonathan, Tanner, Chris, Ryan, Justin, Ian, Joshua, Joe, Corey, Tony. Kaitlyn sends Daniel and Cory packing.

The first date of the week is a group date, where the guys and Kaitlyn get lessons on sumo wrestling. I can't speak for other women, but I'm not one to get all hot and bothered watching men strut around in nothing but a diaper thong! Granted, it's nice to see the guys wearing very little, but seeing a group of men wearing a crazy looking undergarment was overkill for me! Watching Tony have a mini PMS meltdown was the icing on a very crazy cakewalk date. That guy is way too sensitive, and all I have to say to him is Namaste, dude.

While Tony stayed behind at the house to think about whether or not he wanted to out on the big boy diaper and join the other cool kids on the group date, Kaitlyn and the guys were prepping for a sumo exhibition. After a lesson with the professional sumo wrestlers, the men competed against each other in the exhibition, to see who the last man standing will be. JJ is up first against Joe, and Joe won, Joe then faced Clint, and Clint is the winner. I think the crowds were too busy watching the junk flying out of their trunks to actually watch and see who won!

Meanwhile, Tony decides to leave the house after a great deal of whining and complaining to the remaining men at the house. Of course, in true Bachelorette fashion, he has to crash the evening portion of the date to let Kaitlyn know what he has decided. Something tells me I don't think Kaitlyn will lose sleep over this decision, but whatever gives Tony some zen. I'm sure his Bonsai tree will be thrilled to see him come home early.

Back to the evening portion of the group date. Cupcake Chris makes the first move to get quality time alone with Kaitlyn, while Clint decided to play Easy Rider and ignore her. Did he forget that he's the one who needs to pursue the girl, not the other way around? Mistake number one for this clown! This is the start of his huge fall from grace in Kaitlyn's eyes. Shawn, however, makes up for Clint's mistake by telling Kaitlyn how much he enjoys any time he gets alone with her, and how hard he has fallen for her. Flattery gets you everyone, my friend. Shawn scores the group rose, and Kaitlyn calls Clint out for ignoring her. Let this be a lesson to men everywhere...women want to know you're into them! Talk to them, give them attention, and don't assume they know. Little things go a long way, and are never unnoticed!

The next date is a 1-1 Chris Harrison arranges for Kaitlyn and Ben Z. Kaitlyn calls him a 'Babe Soda'. I have never heard of this before, and have no idea what flavour he would be. I'm going with Cream Soda because it's a tasty drink. The same can be said for Ben Z! Chris H. sends them to The Basement, a dark warehouse they get locked into, and need to figure out a code to get them out of the building.

Between the birds, maggots on the floor, blood on the walls and limb on the ceiling, I don't blame Kaitlyn for screaming as much as she did. Two great things came out of the experience. Kaitlyn gets to cling to sexy Ben Z (a LOT!), and she sees that she can trust him to calm her in extremely stressful situations. The pair had 45 minutes to figure out the code to get them out of the building (it was 'roses', and they only figure it out during the last seconds). Once they're out, they go from lock down to lip lock! Back at the Kaitlyn's house, they order pizza, and Ben tells her how he wants a family, and about the day his mother passed away, and how he never cried on that day. In fact, he hasn't cried in 11 years. The date ends in the hot tub, where he accepts the rose she offers, and their lip lock continues!

The final date of the week is a group date where the bachelors are substitute teachers who teach sex education to school children. They are given 15 minutes to plan their lessons, based on the subjects they are provided. They have no idea that the children are actually child actors, and Kaitlyn never tells them the truth. It was hilarious to watch the guys stumble through their presentations, but I'm sure that some parents who were watching the show were probably horrified at the thought of something like this actually happening in a class their children was participating in.

The evening portion of the group date was much tamer, and Joshua gets the first Kaitlyn steal of the night. He tells her that he had his first kiss in college. She thinks he really needs to step it up, probably because she's already made out with half of the guys! Ben H. earns huge points on this date, saying he sees her as his girlfriend. It's Jared, though, who gets the ultimate private time with Kaitlyn in her hotel room. She thinks he's all man, and is extremely attracted to him. Unfortunately, she gives the group rose to Ben H instead of Jared.

I think the real action took place back at the house on this night. Clint and JJ were spending quality time with each other in the hot tub. How bromantic! Clint said he connected more with JJ than Kaitlyn. He fell in love with JJ! This is one of the craziest pairings in Bachelor history, but whatever works for them. I can't wait to see how this bromance plays out.

At the cocktail party. Kaitlyn is concerned about the friction in the house, and the people who backpedaled in the process. Clint is already thinking that Kaitlyn isn't the one for him, but that doesn't stop him from getting private time with her. She is happy, but concerned about him taking a step back that week. He apologizes for his actions, as a way to save face. He still wants a rose, even though he's not interested in her. JJ and Clint are extremely cool and cocky about where they stand in the house, and mentions that "Villains gotta vill". I hope that phrase is killed the minute his overconfident butt is kicked out of the house! The douche meter is out of control at this point.

Fortunately for Kaitlyn, the other men have her back. Joshua lets her know how two-faced the dynamic duo is, and she tells him others have already alerted her to what they are doing. If 13 out of 15 bachelors are saying the same thing, you know villains gotta vill on the street! The show ends, as Kaitlyn decided to get rid of Clint. You go, girl! I appreciate how she doesn't waste time taking the trash to the curb, where it belongs.

I can't wait to see how this story plays out! Until next time...xo

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