Monday, January 25, 2010

You have GOT to be kidding me!!!

Hello Everyone!

I think the title of this post pretty much says it all. I can't speak for everyone else, but my head was reeling from start to finish watching that episode. I admit that I really enjoy watching the show...pure drama and entertainment for a Monday night. I will honestly say that this was a rare time in my reality show-loving lifetime where I caught myself saying (on more than one occasion)...are you ##@#&*^$) kidding me!? REALLY!? Grab your poison of choice and let the fur (or fake fur...I want to keep everyone happy and laughing as they read!) fly! Fasten your seatbelts...this is gonna be a VERY bumpy ride!!

Let's start at the beginning...the RVs pulling up to the mansion set the tone for a crazy road trip to loverville. It's bad enough to put nine high-strung, Jake-loving females in a huge mansion together. Throw them onto two motor homes, with limited bathroom access and space and you have a catfight minus the mud pits and bodyguards! Hmm...that's what happens in mud wrestling...but close enough!

I was curious to see how Gia would be on the one-to-one date with Jake. Let's face it...a lingerie model and a hunky pilot would normally be a lethal combination. We all know what pilots love to do in the cockpit of a plane, and Gia is hot enough to fit the bill for that fantasy. Unfortunately, we know it's Jake and his wholesome "oh gosh" it would be more PG-rated than unrated fun! I have to admit, there is a ton of good old American (or insert any other country!) chemistry between the two of them. The stilettos in the middle of the vineyards made me laugh though...typical NYC diva on a first date. I'm sure I wasn't the only one rolling my eyes!'s where I started gagging...starting with Jake telling Gia his first kiss was in Grade 11, and continuing on to Gia and Jake's playful game of spin the bottle. How old are these two? Did I just step back into a time warp and end up with a group of horny teenagers at a party in someone's basement? ABC...SERIOUSLY!!! What age group are you trying to target?

As if that wasn't enough, I loved the choice of meal for our diva from dogs and s'mores. I loved how Gia said that was the most romantic thing she had ever done. This girl has dated pro athletes and lives in one of the best cities in the world. How does eating street meat and a gooey mess of chocolate, graham crackers and marshmallows become romantic? I think if they were eating that while watching the sun set in Maui, with the waves crashing below, I would feel differently. Instead, they were being watched by a group of howling, jealous women who were acting a lot more like their shoe size than the intelligent, refined women they are supposed to me. Ummmm....yeah, moving right We know that Gia will be around for a while. I can't say the same for some of the other crazies back in the RVs.

Let's dish about the group date. I was wondering last week why the girls, especially Ali, hated Vienna so much. I don't wonder about that anymore. That girl is PSYCHO...not like the movie, but like a stalker! Everything from her saying "Jake's my boyfriend!" and "Have your time with're not gonna marry him. I'm gonna marry him!!"...on what planet is she working with a wedding planner to sort out the details!? I love how the show is playing on how much Ali can't stand the freak-a-leek, but I have concerns that my girl may have that hostility come back to bit her where it will hurt the most. I really like Ali and it's obvious that she has a ton of chemistry with her..but the claws and fangs need to be trimmed back.

I loved how the girls were taken to the beach for sand surfing and racing dune buggies...probably not what they were all expecting, but it allowed Jake to see them let loose in a place where they could let loose, get dirty and have some fun. It's so obvious that Jake is naturally drawn to Tenley, but seeing Cori make a move was a pleasant surprise...and kept her in the game for another week.

Back at the hotel, I loved how the girls were all taking advantage of their alone time with Jake. I love to see him with Ali and Tenley...they are my favourites and obviously some of his favourites as well...but Ali needs to work on getting that Vienna chip off her shoulder. I personally think Jake could have spent the entire evening alone with Tenley...the head in her lap and then going in for the kiss...I felt like I should leave the room...haha. Cute and I want more of that for them!

Was it me, or was that scene with Jake and Ashleigh like having teeth pulled without novocaine!? Ouch. That was beyond painful to watch...especially when he was talking about how he didn't feel any chemistry with her. I can only imagine how brutal it was for Ashleigh to watch that last night.

Let's chat about the one everyone loves to hate...Vienna! Did anyone else want to rip out her hair from the roots when she said she wanted to talk to Jake last? Jake should have manned up and said "I would like to talk to you now", instead of playing into the drama and letting her go last. This girl is creeping me out, and I am safe and sound away from TV land, laughing hysterically at everything that's unfolding in high definition TV. What I WILL give Jake mad props for is the fact that he called her out about what she says to the other girls to antagonize them..."Sometimes it's better not to say anything." I wonder if Chris Harrison had anything to do with that!!! In any event...well done Jake...well done. You scored one cool point with me for that...and two more for giving Tenley the rose at the end of the group date!

Here's the part of the show that made my stomach turn...the two-on-one date. I don't know how any of them would be able to enjoy a minute of that painful dinner, knowing that one person was getting the boot. To make matters worse, Jake pretty much ignored Kathryn for the first part of the date, but I loved how she called him out for it. Jake, you lost a cool point for doing that....and I passed it over to Kathryn! You go girl.

I like both of those women, but Ella clearly has her priorities wrapped around her son (and rightfully so) and I didn't see Jake ready to settle down with someone who already has a child. Having Jake use the son as an excuse for letting her go (not wanting to keep her away from him) sucked, and I think that Ella's parting line of "Be wise in who you choose" should have been "Get a life, loser! You're going to end up alone or with a psycho for a fiancee!". Kathryn getting kicked to the curb shocked everyone...and I guess Jake telling her how beautiful she was and how he was lost in her eyes was a pillow that was supposed to catch her fall. I love how he burned the rose after he sent them both off. But the fun isn't over yet. The bloodbath is just beginning...

I know this is long...sorry, but there was just so much fuel for the fire, I had to throw in all the change I had in my wallet to describe what I was thinking! So much for two cents' worth. OK...cocktail party and rose ceremony time. I think that the girls are entitled to their opinions, but being on a reality show where you are all competing for the affections of one man, you need to learn to be politically correct when the situation calls for it, and hide the claws during the pre-rose ceremony party. It's a shame that Jessie didn't know about this. Her rant to Jake about Vienna cost her a rose and made her sound like a spoiled child. Even Ali, who HATES Vienna, knows enough to be quiet and focus on Jake while she is with him. Having said that...I loved her line "If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - Vienna needs to go home!" I thought her head was going to spin off that night! Lucky for her, that kiss from Jake was like crazy glue and kept it on for a little while longer.

I have to dedicate an entire paragraph to Vienna...that girl is enough to make me run for a bottle of percocet! Shame that I am allergic to it...that stuff could make you feel good about anything! I am christening her the "Ewwww factor"...that girl really creeps me out! Talking to Jake about how she feels like she's the only girl in his life made me wonder if she remembers that she is on a show where women are competing for the same man...does anyone have a spare straightjacket? She looks like she could use one. I loved her questions about what his friends and family would think of her. If this is the type of girl he is looking for, it doesn't say much for him. I really hope something drastic changes my mind about that crazy bird.

Did anyone else think that Jake was going to toss his cookies during the rose ceremony!? That looked so uncomfortable. It was obvious that he was not feeling good about everyone in the room. The drama about going to talk to Chris was actually interesting to me. Jake has shown that he isn't here on ABC's agenda, but his own. He's there to find a woman to fall in love with and if that meant cutting women without giving out roses, so be it. My only complaint was that there were only two women who had to leave! Vienna should have been sent back to Florida. I understood why Jessie and Ashleigh were turned away...but drama mama gits to go!!! If for nothing keep Ali's blood pressure normal. She is ready to burst some blood vessels! That girl is going to snap...soon...

That's it for this week. Thanks again for reading my posts and for all your amazing comments. I have to say that I am looking forward to seeing what the next episode brings. Jake's cutting out so many women that I am hoping some huge shift takes place next week, so that we can see how he is starting to fall for the remaining women. I still see Tenley and Ali as the front runners, but Gia is also up there as well. Time will tell...and with Jake making so many wild card moves, it's getting harder to figure out exactly what (or who!) he is looking for!

Take care and until next time...have a great week! :)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Boozing, dissing and kissing...oh my!

Hello Everyone!

Welcome back to another edition of dissin' and hissin' about The Bachelor and the crazy house of drama mamas! What a night! My head is still spininng from all of the Vienna-hating, 'fundue' eating, boozy, whiny, mental (YES...MENTAL!) little girls that are clawing their way to the final rose ceremony. Did anyone else wish they could take two Prozac and reserve a day pass from Looneyville!? Unbelievable!!

Where to begin...there is so much to cover and I don't want to miss a thing! Grab your beverage of choice and let's get this party started!! ;)

OK...I have to say that I was disappointed that Jake chose Vienna for the 1-1 date, but I understand that he needs to get to know the women individually to see what makes them tick. The helicopter was a nice touch...very James Bond and impressive...he would have had me at hello if he showed up with a helicopter as a getaway vehicle. Where he lost points was that ridiculous display at the bridge. A pilot..afraid of heights!? Are you kidding me?? I loved his "I can't be strong 100 percent of the time." OMG...ridiculous! I wanted him to toss his cookies over the bridge and get over himself. Vienna comforting him on the bridge really tested my gag reflexes...and I doubt I was the only one in the crowd feeling that way!

Did anyone else predict the first kiss coming right after the did that bungee jump together? I was waiting for that lame song to get queued up.."On the wings of looooove..."...I felt myself becoming ill...but got over it and braced myself for the upcoming dates.

Let's fast forward to that hot mess of a group date at the comedy club with Jon Lovitz. I don't know what was worse...the bad comedy routines, the fact that everyone was drunker than sailors and hissing to Jake about Vienna, or Michelle's first kiss with Jake. I'll save Michelle's disaster for later. Let me quickly break down my take on the girls that stood out to me that night:

Ashleigh - Boo blah blah hoo! What a drunk, freaking's a comedy night...not a scene from The Notebook! Her dissing of Vienna was not cool, even though Vienna isn't one of my favourites in the running for last female standing. Her stock dropped with me last night.

Tenley...Bendy girl and cute as hell. How this girl remains single is a mystery to me! I think she is adorable and love that Jake sealed their chat with a kiss...loved it. I heart her. Period!

Ali - I think she is super cute, but her claws and fangs were out in full force that night. I appreciate that she has the nerve to stand up to Vienna and tell her how she and the other girls feel about her, but it was pretty vicious. I am still trying to figure out why all the women hate Vienna so much. Hope they play that out more in the next few episodes.

Vienna - Her overconfident attitide got on my nerves. The line about "I'm probably gonna be here for a while" reminded me of Rozlyn...and we know what happened to her! It was a Vienna throwdown last night...I think she brings it upon herself with that daddy's girl attitude, but again, I hope we gain more insight on that soap opera drama in the next few weeks.

Michelle - Psycho drama queen with the raunchy train wreck of a comedy routine. Her discussion of her 'coconuts' and hole putting was not only dirty, but made her look like an idiot in front of everyone. I am surprised Jake didn't kick her out at that point. Was I the only one that thought that first kiss with Jake looked like he was having a root canal!? It was painful, messy and required painkillers to get through her complaint that it wasn't a good enough kiss. Was I the only one singing "Ding dong, the witch is dead!" when he sent her packing!? We all know what karma is, honey...and I called it poetic justice. She overstayed her welcome by a few episodes, but it's all in the name of ratings. Jake couldn't slam the door of the van hard or fast enough!!

I thought the one-to-one date with Ella and having her son surprise her was cute...but am I the only one who thinks she's older than 29!? She looks like she's become friends with Botox. I'm just sayin'. I have to say that some of their conversation tested my gag reflexes, but they did seem to have a good time together.

OK...saved the best for last! Cocktail party night...and another hot mess...our resident head case and professional tease, Elizabeth. Is it just me, or does that professional nanny give off a hand That Rocks the Cradle vibe!? I gained some respect for Jake when he called her out for being a tease and playing head games. I didn't understand why she was so shocked about what he said to her.

My fave lines of the night that came out of Lizzie's mouth:

"I am not just vanilla, I am many other colours".
"I am chasing him. He needs to remember that!". I hope she remembers that as he kicked her to the curb. Thank goodness Jake is making choices for himself and not for ABC. I can't imagine what she would do if he dumped her during the final rose ceremony!

I completely understand why she was sent packing, but it would have been nice to see Jake actually have air time with Valishia, the other bachelorette who was eliminated. Did anyone EVER see her talk to Jake!? She is an attractive woman...but never spoke. She reminds me of Finnegan from Mr. Dressup (I know I have just dated myself, but if you recall that show, Finnegan is a puppy that never makes a sound!). Valishia is a very well-endowed Finnegan! It's a shame that she left no real impression on Jake...or anyone else.

I can't end this posting without mentioning the spoiler for next week's episode. Looks like Jake refrains from handing out the two final roses during the ceremony...anyone want to guess on who the unlucky ladies will be?? My spidey sense is tingling already...but I would love to know what you think!

Thanks so much for all of your wonderful feedback, emails and comments. I am having a blast with this blog and appreciate all of your kind words. I encourage you to post comments on this site, and feel free to a link to these entries anyone you think would be interested in reading and having a few giggles. Take care and have a fantastic week! Until next time...:)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Let's back this up for a sec...;)

Hello Everyone! Happy Friday!

Well party people...looks like we have another group of crazies on everyone's guilty pleasure and favourite water cooler topic of discussion....the latest installment of The Bachelor! I think we all agree that Jake is serious eye candy, but not exactly the perfect specimen he thinks he is. Let's call a spade a spade...he's a bit of a dork and uses words like 'gosh' and 'golly' way too much...I have yet to hear ABC bleep out anything he said. Come on's reality tv. Let the bleeps fall where they may...;) Having said that, we knew that once Kiptyn and Reid bailed on being the Bachelor, Jake was the natural choice to be selected to be on "the most dramatic season ever!" That phrase always make me giggle...

I am the first person to admit that this show is crazy and pure drama...but like millions of other fans, I love watching the madness unfold every Monday night on ABC! Last week was insane. Everything from Rozlyn throwing herself at Jake on the group date for a rose to Michelle packing her bags and threatening to leave because she didn't get invited on a date and then Elizabeth reading Jake that silly note and telling him he can't kiss her until he knows she is the one for the grand finale of Roz getting thrown out of the house for her 'inappropriate relationship' with a producer. Did anyone see what this guy looked like!? All I have to say to Roz is...honey, either you need glasses or you clearly didn't care who you were involved with to get attention in the house. Wow...hope it was worth it. I wonder how long it will take for Playboy to call her know she already has one by now!

I was asked to give a quick rundown of the girls that are still in the house (just for you, Erica!!). Here are my comments...feel free to add yours too! I can't wait to hear what people think about the show...

Ali - Ali is so cute and sweet. She is one of my personal favourites. You see the chemistry building already. I think she'll be around for a while.

Elizabeth - The ridiculous letter turned me off...and how stupid is she to tell Jake not to kiss her, then throw her fake boobs in his face and tempt him about whether or not he wants to kiss her?? Girlfriend has GOT to go!!

Vienna - The unemployed daddy's girl in the house. I appreciated her honesty about telling Jake she eloped at a young age, but this girl looks like she wants a sugar daddy. Jake may fall for her though...stranger things have happened.

Gia - I think she is using the show to get Sports Illustrated to call her for an Hot but too much for the Christian boy from Texas, in my opinion. He'll keep her around as I am sure she 'intrigues" him too...the fact that she looks like a Playboy bunny has NOTHING to do with it!! ;)

Tenley - I really like her. She is sweet, honest and Jake is already impressed with her (hence the 'first impression" I think she'll be around for a while. Hope she tells him about the divorce soon. Our boy Jake is all about honesty.

Ella - The single mom. She seems like a nice person, but I don't see them together...we'll see what happens. He seems to like her. I think she looks older than 30...

Valishia - She has left zero impression on me. Pass.

Corrie - Pretty, very young. and blonde...typical bachelorette. She doesn't really stand out for me. I seem to only like talking about the crazies!

Jessie - Our girl from Oakville (go Team Canada!!) She isn't standing out to me very much...unless something 'dramatic' happens soon, I think she will be home in time to attend Vancouver 2010 in person! The line about having the guns registered made my eyes roll into the back of my head!!

Ashleigh H. - Ah, the bikini gets the guy every time! I loved how she interrupted Jake and whoever he was talking to by showing up in a bikini during the cocktail party! Tell me that a guy who is in a room full of women wouldn't want to spend time with a women who has almost nothing on...

Michelle - This girl needs to be committed...and not in a relationship! What a mess. She has psycho stalker written all over her. Shame though..she is attractive, but that creepy factor won't work for very long...and the girls will give Jake the 411 on her boiling pot of craziness anyway!

Kathryn - Cute flight attendant. I'm sure she will try to get into the mile-high club with Jake at some point! She is very pretty and seems nice...but again, typical blonde that we see every season.

I wanted to say that I don't plan on using this blog to say what I hear online (spoilers, etc). I know so many people who want to watch the season and see everything unfold as each episode airs. I just love to chat about the show with my friends and thought this was be a great way for me to post my thoughts and invite others to share their comments sas well. I hope you enjoy reading my posts...and I would love to hear from you too!

Take care and have a fabulous weekend!

ps...for those of you who love to read articles about the Bachelor, here's a little something for you! It's about Rozlyn...

Welcome to my blog!!

Hi Everyone!!

I have finally taken the advice of many of my friends and created a blog to talk about everyone's guilty pleasure....The Bachelor! I will try to make updates as often as my busy schedule allows, but at the very least, this will be a good forum for us to discuss (AKA - dissect!) Monday night's episodes and what we think of Jake, the bachelorettes, the drama in the house and our predictions for this season.

I am very excited about this and hope that you will enjoy the updates, comments and the drama that is already unfolding on this season. I love watching the's my shameless fun for a Monday night and love to chat on Tuesday morning about the aftermath of what went down the night before.

Take care and happy blogging! :)