Thursday, February 18, 2010

St. Lucia: Love, Lust and Ali Bye-Bye! vowel needed to be bought for this one...O...M...G! What was that!? I was gagging through a good part of that last episode! I wonder if the people at ABC think that we are blind or just clueless. We could see the lost (and ridiculous) art of careful editing taking place on ABC's top-rated 'reality' show! Note that I use the word 'reality' very, VERY loosely. I will get to the the crazy mess of the phone call between Jake and Ali later in this entry. In the meantime, grab your instrument of choice and let's tear into the week of sun, fun and lord knows what else behind the closed doors of the fantasy suites as we do the virtual travel in time to St. Lucia!

The first date was with Gia. Jake admitted to stereotyping her in the beginning as the sexy, confident model, when she was actually very insecure. Jake was able to see that Gia was holding back and was hoping that she would finally open up to him on this date. We can always count on Jakey to have a cheesy line for the viewers..."Gia makes my heart skip a beat!". Yes, and no doubt she makes his blood pressure shoot up when she wears skimpy outfits as well!! ;)

Does everyone else get as annoyed as I do when Jake gushes about how 'amazing' these women are!? He gets zero for originality. I feel like we have a pause/play button with him. Have another coconut drink or 10, pal...and go easy on the rum. You need your strength for the fantasy suite later!! ;)

Gia's date was pretty lame by Bachelor standards at the beginning...heading out to the local market, dancing around in her cutoff shorts with flip-flops and wearing the necklace Jake bought for her. It would have been better if she wore a cute little sundress with kitten heels and flaunted her Maxim body for our horny little pilot. I also had to roll my eyes when he said he wanted to come back to St. Lucia for his honeymoon. Sure.....come back to the place where he wined, dined and sealed the deal with multiple women in one week. His future wife will be so proud! ;)

I will say that the date was stepped up by dinnertime...eating on the beach with the waves crashing in the background is a nice touch. Jake made Gia feel very comfortable and he hoped that she would feel safe and willing to open up to him more than she already has. I will say that I howled when he told Gia how surprised about how much depth she had to her because she is 'drop dead gorgeous'! Ummm...the girl has dated professional athletes and posed in skimpy lingerie. I hardly think she's using a Master's degree or PhD to pose in her not-so secret lingerie.

Cut to the hammock scene and cuddle time with the future Playboy bunny. We see Gia hesitating about telling Jake she is falling in love with him...what exactly she was waiting for, I have no idea. The guy is pouring out his personal feelings to her...but I think her mind was already wandering to the fantasy suite! Speaking of which...Jake whips out the card and lets Gia decide if she wants to go back with him. Duuuhhh...of course she accepts and they end up in the bubble bath together faster than her La Perla lingerie could come off! Jake's lines about how being with Gia is almost surreal and how "Gia has grabbed a hold of my heart so hard" were almost believable...but I think he had other thoughts on his mind than his emotions for the NYC diva. You can draw your own conclusions about what happened the rest of the night!

The next date was with Tenley. I have said this from the beginning and will say it again now. I think she is perfect for Jake. They look great together, they share the same values and morals, they have a ton of chemistry, and I'm not just talking about the sexual kind. They could be one of those couples who could be together for years, not just for ABC ratings and until the cheatinhg bubbles to the surface. Jake said it so well when he told the cameras 'I would have such a blessed life with her.', and 'We agree on so many things.'

Jake took Tenley on a two-hour helicopter ride over Rodney Bay and she gushes how she feels on top of the world when she is with Jake. After the ride, they go on a picnic that Jake sets up for her in the middle of the rainforest. We all know she was burned by her ex, so she asks Jake how he will pursue if he decides to choose her at the end of his journey to find love. He tells her how they will travel the world together, jump on a plane and fly away for adventures. She says how she can see then together and that she is very happy.

The date continues on a private, black sand beach and they share a lot of kisses and private moments - there's no doubting the fact that they make a very attractive couple! Jake is hoping that Tenley will open her heart to him. She is thinking about the fantasy suite and isn't sure if she is ready to take that leap of faith, due to what she experienced in the past.

Later at dinner, the two of them are very comfortable with each other and Tenley opens up to Jake about how much it means to her that she has this opportunity to be with him. She also says that she is ready to move on with her life and be with someone else. Tenley tells Jake that she is falling in love with him and he responds with a kiss and by asking her to dance. Jake knows how important dancing is to Tenley, and he tells the cameras that he started falling in love with her that day in the dance studio in Oregon..."I'm falling in love with this girl".

Jake offers Tenley the fantasy suite card form Chris Harrison and she happily accepts the invitation. He tells her that he 'absolutely cannot wait to watch our first sunrise', and she responds by saying 'I trust you with my heart.' That means a lot to him and he is happy that she trusts him and feels safe.

I don't know about all of you, but I was really hoping that the girl had a hell of a lot of fun in that room! My spidey sense feels that they became closer that night, but she stayed true to herself and didn't do anything she would regret down the road. Whatever she did...I still like this girl. She's a sweetie and not trashy like our pal Vienna. Speaking of the devil...

Ah, the wicked one from the south. Dear Vienna...according to Jake, she is so full of life and bold. His first instinct about her was that she would be the risky choice for him. Jake decided to forget about what everyone else said about her and get to know Vienna himself. Can anyone say Jillian and Wes!? Do people not learn from the mistakes of the past? In any event, Jake and Vienna meet up next and he is in need of the fun, immature side again. We hear Vienna say how she is falling in love with Jake as that ridiculously cheesey music played in the background. Jake takes Vienna on to the pirate ship that was used in the movie Pirates of the Caribbean and we watch them have some silly moments of Jake making Vienna walk the plank and jump into the water. Jake goes on about how they are very comfortable around each other and how Vienna puts him at ease.

Cut to the scene with the two of them having a serious makeout session on the ship and Jake talks about how rolling around with Vienna was smoking hot. I'm not doubting the natural chemistry between the two..that part is obvious. My doubts lie in the fact that these two would be able to have a lasting relationship, marriage, kids, the picket fence and carpools with mini-vans. If these two had kids, you know there would definitely be a booster car seat in the back for her pampered little dog, too!!

The date continues into the evening with the two of them having dinner. Vienna tells Jake how she wants to wait a few years to have children after she is married. Jake is thinking how he wants to make sure the passion he has for Vienna is not just sexual...ummm...buddy...we know it is. It's just a matter of time before you do, as well! ;)

My gag reflexes were seriously tested after Jake started asking Vienna what type of engagement ring she liked...setting, band, cut of diamond, etc. Did I miss something? Is Harry Winston at the resort with them? Then, he proceeds to tell the she-devil how he has fallen for all three women. Way to dangle the carrot in front of the horse...only to whip it back in a flash! Nice. She then proceeds to tell Jake how she can't picture herself not being with him in the end, and that she has fallen in love with him. Jake tells her how much he loves that she told him that, then pulls out the fantasy suite card. Vienna accepts, says how they need the time alone to get to know each other better, and practically sprints back to the suite. Ok...I threw that in. But you were all thinking the same thing! LOL

They head back to the fantasy suite, where Vienna says she has a surprise for him. She comes out in a skimpy white nightgown and practically throws him on the bed before slamming the door to the cameras. Again, not exactly how it happened...but you know they definitely didn't spend the night talking and sharing their deepest secrets with each other! Thank God we didn't see anything after she closed the door.

Now we get to the part where Ali calls Jake out of the blue. I love all of the carefully scripted lines they both used. Ali starts by telling Jake how 'she wanted to go back the second she left', and he tells her 'you drove away with a piece of my heart.' There was not a lot of lapsed time between the night Ali left to the day the call was made, yet Jake told her that 'when you left, it forced me to put what I felt for you aside.' Yes, my friends...this is true love at its very best!! ;)

It was sooo ridiculously obvious to a blind person that Ali had a scripted call to Jake, all for ratings. Does ABC think we're blind or not hip to these things? Please give viewers a little more credit than that. We don't live in a magic bubble...she left for a reason, plain and simple. The girl was destined for bigger and better. I say good for her. Smart girl. Run and don't look back!!

Last gag reflex testing moments...I promise! Jake telling Ali how he didn't think it was a good idea for her to come back because he had stronger feelings for the other women...and holding his head while saying it...made me want to hand him a statue and speech thanking ABC and the Academy for making him the most boring reality star of the year! How much more of this crap are we supposed to endure!? We know that scene will set the tone for the previews of next season's premiere of the Bachelorette! It's a win-win situation for know ABC is not ready to let her fade into the woodwork. Ready or not...she will be back soon!

I won't even waste a lot of time rehashing the rose ceremony. It was obvious that Gia was going home...he's not letting go of sweet Tenley or Vienna the vixen. He told the girls that he was falling in love with all three of them for very different reasons, then sent Gia packing. He tells her that she is...wait for it...amazing, but that their relationship was start and stop and that he developed stronger feelings for the other women. Gia goes as far as saying that she doesn't think he made the wrong decision, yet she tells the camera as she is driving away in the limo that she is very shocked, crushed and confused. She'll get over it with an NFL player in no time! ;)

Jake goes back to Tenley and Vienna and tells them that they are going to the southern end of the island and that his family is coming to visit. I can't wait to see how they both are with his family! Should be interesting...:)

I am looking forward to the Women Tell All episode next week! All of the girls will be back, including Ali and bad girl Rozlyn. I wonder how much of that show will be edited as well! I can't wait to see if the gloves come off and the Lee Press-On Nails start to fly! I apologize for the delay in posting this update, but it's definitely better late than never. Until next time...take care and enjoy the rest of your week!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Hometown Happiness, Beverly Hills Heartbreak.

Hello Everyone! I'm sure you're all still reeling from Monday night's turn of events. Who would have thought Ali of all people would give up her chance at love with Jake for her job at Facebook!? Looks like she won't be changing her status to "In a Relationship with Jake Pavelka"...but we'll talk more about this later! Let's get right to the hometown dates with the final four!

The first date was with Gia in New York City, one of the greatest cities in the world. I thought the boat ride around NYC was cute and they had a few nice moments by taking some kissy faced pics and checking out the Statue of Liberty. However, Gia's reluctance to talk about past bad relationships doesn't sit well with someone like Jake, who "doesn't let the sun go down with a problem." Hopefully, she will let her guard down around the family and let Jake see what she is really all about.

The two of them head to a restaurant to meet Gia's family. Once I got past Gia's mother's heavy New York accent (I was gagging and cringing as I heard her talk!!), we got to see her talk to Jake and hear him gush about how amazing Gia is and how he fallen for her. I wonder how much of that is him caught up in her smoking hot looks over her inner beauty....

The date ends with the two of them sitting on a stoop, watching cabs drive by and Jake telling Gia that he really liked her family and him gushing to the camera about how he "loves the girl". Not a bad start to the week, but I have no doubt that the best is yet to come. Let's call a spade a spade...who in their right mind would go have a hometown date in NYC and sit on a freaking stoop!? At the very least, sit on the stoop near the Plaza hotel or take a carriage ride through Central Park on the way back to the apartment. Who over at ABC created the budget for this episode!? I hope they splurge on the overnight dates...

The next hometown date is with Ali in Williamstown, Massachussets. I will admit that I have been looking forward to this particular date for a while. We all know that Jake and Ali have a strong connection that can only improve with a great meeting with the parents. Ali surprised me (and no doubt everyone else) by taking Jake to her late grandmother's house to 'meet' her. Her story about how she came to stay with her grandmother after she became ill was touching and showed us how strong her connection is with Jake. I didn't doubt for a minute that those two appeared to be a couple who are falling in love and creating some lasting memories.

Jake and Ali spending time with her family also showed the connection he was developing with her family. Ali's mother searching on Google for details about him was a HUGE plus in my book! Gotta love a web savvy lady! I loved the time Jake spent with her Ali's mother and how he spoke to her about never wanting to propose to Ali without her mother's consent, which she gave to him wholeheartedly. For those of you in the crowd keeping score, the marriage chat didn't happen with Gia's family. Interesting and shocking? Not really. We know he likes Gia, but it's obvious that connection is not as strong as the ones he has with the three other ladies.

Jake doesn't have to say anything to Ali...their body language and serious makeout session tells me that he has fallen for her and wants to see where the rest of this journey takes them. The other dates will have a tough act to follow.

After the date with Ali, Jake heads to Newburg, Oregon for a hometown date with Tenley. Jake gushed about missing Tenley like crazy and the connection between them is obvious as they are reunited. Tenley looks amazing as always and beaming as she takes Jake on a ride down memory lane, sharing her favourite childhood memories. She wants to learn more about Jake and asks him about what parts his family plays in his life. Jake tells her that he gets good advice from his parents. Tenley wants him to take the reins in life and plan as a 'we', not as an individual.

Tenley takes Jake to the ballet studio she danced in and surprises him with a dance she choreographed especially for him. Jake is obviously affected by the dance and by Tenley, as he mentions how he is melting in his seat watching her dance. It's a passionate display of the affection and emotions Tenley is feeling for Jake. Secretly, I am thinking that this girl would make a smoking hot (and angelic!) Pussycat Doll! Again...stranger things have happened.

After the dance, Tenley and Jake go to meet the family and Tenley is beaming with happiness and pride. Early into the meeting, Jake and Tenley's father go off for a chat. Jake is told that the most painful thing her father has ever had to experience was watching his daughter go through the pain of the end of her marriage. Afterwards, Jake talks to Tenley's mother, who says that Tenley will have emotional spills for a while over her ex and what he did to her. Her mother also added that her daughter is amazing...we think Jake already knows that too!

While talking to Tenley's father, Jake asks for permission to marry his daughter. Not only does he get his blessing, he also gets a huge hug from 'dad'...awwww!!! So cute. No doubt they would have tons of fun together at Thanksgiving fighting over the wishbone and cheering on their favourite team during the Super Bowl.

Tenley ends the evening by saying her heart feels safe and that she is falling in love with Jake. Sweetie, the boy is falling in love with you too! :)

The last hometown date is with Vienna in Florida. Don't ask me what city it was...I called it a swamp and a bayou, so let's leave it at that! I felt like I watching a scene from Cape did Vienna think this would be a romantic setting for Jake to 'fall for her'!?!? The only place Jake would be falling was out of the boat and into the mouth of an alligator.

Jake tried to get more details from Vienna about her exes while rolling down the river in the boat and learns that her dad didn't like her exes from the past. She also wishes him good luck in dealing with her dad...nice setup to the family meeting!

OK...skipping right to the redneck hillbilly family and the creepy father - good old Vinnie! He's no Vinnie Barbarino, that's for sure. I would sleep with one eye open around this dude on a hunting trip in the woods!! I loved how he told Jake that he needs to treat her like a princess and that she would make a good home for him. Ummm...ya. In the trailer park! Sorry, but I wasn't feeling it. I'm sure that he's a nice person, but the bond he seems to have with Vienna creeped me out, and I don't see Jake having warm and fuzzy family time with this clan.

Did anyone else get a kick from the banjo music playing in the background during the hometown date? I was howling! ABC is definitely playing up the image of the redneck Brady Bunch and knows the fans will eat it up. I was bummed they didn't play a bluegrass version of "On The Wings of Love". I would definitely looked that up later on YouTube!! ;)

My absolute favourite scene was the hot little makeout session that was interrupted by Daddy Dearest. Gotta love Vienna's request to give them a few more minutes alone. I'm surprised he didn't toss a few Trojans at them. Unbelievable. OK...moving right along...that hometown visit has already received more attention that necessary!

OK...let's jump right into the big bombshell at the hotel with Jake and Ali. Ali comes to Jake's hotel room, crying about the fact that she has to get back to her job or risk being fired. It's obvious that she is torn about the situation, but she is clearly looking for Jake to give her a sign that she is going to be there to the end, which of course he isn't able to do. Did they steal a few pages from last season's showdown between Ed and Jillian! Come on ABC...get a little more original here. We know the girl is one of Jake's favourites and would have most likely been in the final 2. Was it really necessary to throw in the ultimatum from work and put Jake in the middle of it?

I have spoken to some of my friends about this situation and here's what we have boiled it down to: we know these girls need to clear time from work to be on the show for at least 6 weeks, we know they are not supposed to have any type of contact with anything from home (and that means NO cell phones! Who frisks these girls when they enter the house and checks for contraband electronics!? They suck at their job!!). We also know that they need to understand that if they want to be there until the end, they need to make a serious investment and commitment to the process, both in time and emotionally.

Having said that, was this Ali's way of trying to get Jake to put everything on the line upfront to assure her that the risk of losing her job is worth it? I think probably not, but the girl did play up the drama a bit too much. We know Jake cares about her and is falling hard for her. We also know that contractually, he can't say anything to anyone in advance of the final rose ceremony. I do think he laid his feelings and intentions out pretty well and flat out told her that she was not in jeopardy of going home that night. It all boils down to whether or not sacrificing a career is worth it for getting the boy in the end.

In the end, Facebook won out and Ali left her chance with Jake at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I thought that after she heard Jake pour out his heart to her and tell her that she wasn't on the line that night that she would stay. For the record, I have no doubt that Gia would have been sent packing. The kiss at the limo was nice and showed me that there is a ton of emotion there, but no goodbye from Jake to Ali as he closed the door told me more than anything that he was pissed off about what she did and that he was moving on.

I am very curious to see what happens next week as they head to St. Lucia for some fun, sun and fantasy suite action! I am also very curious to hear what Ali has to say to Jake during that phone call. Will she pull a Swiderski and try to come back? Will Jake pull a Mesnick and try to win Ali back? Will the cast of Glee serenade the 3 couples over dinner? Only time will tell! Tune in next week for another heaping portion of dishin' and hissin'! Until next time...stay warm and out of trouble!! :)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

San Fran, a prince, daddy's little princess and a lotta drama! Bring it on!!

Welcome back! I don't know about you, but I laughed so hard during last night's episode, I thought my stomach was going to explode! I lost my mind when Corrie joked that the two-on-one date was with Ali and Vienna! Great way to break the tension in a room filled with palpable tension and catty women. I'll come back to that later. In the meantime, let's get down to business and dish about the week of luuuuuv in San Francisco!

Can I say how much I loved the fact that the first one-to-one date was with Tenley? I love this girl...she's sweet, kind, attractive and obviously there for the right reasons. How cute was the streetcar ride and the two of them holding each other on the side? Everyone say it together.....awwwwwwwwwww!!! I also liked the cute fortune cookies that Jake and Tenley had with the "Kiss Me" messages inside. Cheesey, but hey...they're leaving their hearts in San Francisco and getting caught up in the moment!! The chemistry between Tenley and Jake is really strong and they already look like a couple who is falling in love. I love how open and candid they are together, and I give her kudos for throwing in a comment about pilots and cheating! There's a little ballsiness in her...go girl! Great date, but I did gag at the sound of my least favourite theme song...LOL!

I will say that her comment about not taking the time to greet her ex husband when he would come home at the end of the day was strange. Most women would totally do that for their partners...but again, if this guy was as much of a cheating ass as she makes him out to be, he deserved what he got!

OK...back to the two-on-one date announcement. How many people wanted to buy Corrie several rounds of cosmopolitans for what she did!? That was the stuff of greatness and she scored brownie points with me for pulling that stunt! Could you imagine how extremely uncomfortable that date would have been!? Like pouring gasoline on a massive bonfire...raging, out of control and painful! Fortunately, Gia and Vienna, who have somehow become good friends, were the ones to share the date with Jake.

How fitting was it that the date took place in a castle!? The handsome prince from Texas got to hang out with Daddy's little princess and the sexy lingerie vixen. I can't believe that Jake spent the first part of the date ignoring Gia and focusing his attention on Vienna. Good thing he made up for lost time when they had their steamy little makeout session in the cellar. Shame that Vienna the psycho had to crash their private party. I love that she was lost in the castle for an hour! Karma is what it is, sista!! ;)

I did gag a little when Gia made the comment about how she crumbled emotionally after finding out that he's asked more than one ''lady'' to rest her legs in his lap. ''I guess I thought like maybe...that was our thing,'' she whines. ''That hurt me.'' Poor Jake worked double time to tell Gia that she is, like, totally special: ''I have dates with the other women but I don't have, you know, those amazing moments that we did.'' And she LOVES it. ''Is it okay to fall?'' she whispers to the Bachelor. ''It's okay to fall,'' he replies. I felt all three meals I had yesterday rising to the surface...yuck! Cheesey gets the girl in this case.

Did anyone else want to stuff Vienna in that trunk full of clothes when she ratted out Ali for being upset that Jake gave her a rose at the last rose ceremony. ''She had just got done talking about how she can't believe you would like a girl like me if you liked her.'' [Cue the tears] ''It was a lot to hold in.''. Boo freaking hoo. I wanted to flush her down the toilet. Maybe she should have received an Oscar nomination today for best actress on a reality show! Who do I call to get this category added to the roster!? Lucky for her, Jake the white knight gave her the attention she wanted, while poor Gia felt like a third wheel.

Am I the only one who thought it was weird that Vienna and Jake's one-to-one time was barely on the radar? I know it's probably because she pulled that ridiculous move to go down to his room with two glasses of wine for some private time, but it made my mind wander to why that would be edited out. I gagged at Jake's comment about having dirty thoughts when Vienna was in the room with him, but was so happy when he sent her back to her room without and steamy makeout time. No doubt he had a long and cold shower before bed! ;)

Next date was with Corrie. Let me tell you...this was so painful for me to watch. I felt like I had a root canal and my wisdom teeth ripped out without any pain medication! Not only was she a lot further behind the other women with regards to their connection with Jake, but she was a lot more reserved than the others. I felt like I needed to show her a copy of Hitch...the kissing rule is 90-10 percent! Luckily for her, Jake was willing to compromise at 80-20 by the end of the night. Did anyone else scream at the tv when the two of them were in the boat, letting the perfect romantic kiss opportunity sink into the lake? I heard crickets, dogs and cats in other counties and other women watching around North America yelling at them to get it over with already! Unfortunately, the virgin comment and the fact that she was going to live on her own until marriage sealed Corrie's fate. Jake blurting out "Are you saving yourself for marriage?" sounded horrifying - he's not always good at hiding his feelings. As spiritual and nice that Jake is, a woman being cute and fun only gets you so far in this day and age. The guy is only human!

OK...last solo date was for Ali, the hometown girl. S he looked amazing and anyone can see he considers her as one of the front runners this season. I love that she planned a really fun day for them. It showed her playfulness and their obvious chemistry. A little back rub and makeout session in the park always scores extra points from the boy as well! I really like Ali, but that nasty attitude of hers when it comes to Vienna may cost her if she's not careful. I'm glad she finally told him that she was going to let go of her obsession with Vienna.

One question...why did he carry her purse!? Was he jealous that she looked more stylish then he did? Enquiring minds wanna know! I also cringed when she jumped into the surf with her boots on! That's gonna leave a stain! Next time, whip off the kickers, honey! It's all good...we know there's no way he's sending her home this week.

Let's talk about the rose ceremony and the evening leading up to it. Everything from Jake dancing around with Tenley to telling Corrie that it's all about heart appeal, not sex appeal for him (hmmm...not what he was thinking back in the bedroom at the castle when Vienna walked in!) seemed staged. I was surprised when he took Vienna to his room for some private time. It was the one moment prior to the rose ceremony that he actually seemed real and didn't have any staged actions. I am still trying to figure out the attraction towards her...but I guess I will have to wait until next week for more clarification on this little mystery!

No surprise that Corrie was sent home...he never had any real chemistry with her. I don't understand why she was so shocked about getting the boot. Maybe after she watches the episode, it will become clearer to her!!

I can't wait to see next week's episode and see how the girls handle the hometown dates. The big bombshell and the lack of a rose ceremony leads me to believe that someone will leave the show. Any guesses on who is backing away from her chance at love with Jake? Let me know what you think!

Until we meet again....same bat time, same bat channel...have a great week and stay out of trouble! ;)